The Environmentally Friendly Transportation Company

"We get you where you want to go"

We are not into high-tech, environmentally unsound methods of transportation, especially when it comes to your travelling to pristine and out-of-the-way places. Our corporate mission is to recycle older methods of travel: stage-coach, DC-3 airplane, steam engine train, camels, and Native Bearers, for the benefit of the world ecology -- and also for your own pleasure in getting to go places no major carrier would take you to.

Our Internet page is also very basic -- no fancy stuff or on-line ordering or even e-mail. Just write us a letter (and put a stamp on it), and we will take you ANYWHERE you want to go, including car service, because we do that too. Pay in cash to our bored-certified representative when he shows up to take you away. That's all, except for his drop-off assignment at the nearest bank -- now you are on your way. There are no guarantees except that we will get you to the place you want to go. What happens to you then is nothing to do with us.

[However, we do have a Return-trip contract, but that costs three times as much, as you will have to be accompanied by one of our personal protection agents, who are all guaranteed ex-CIA, KGB, Mossad, or SAS.]

How do we do this? (Our our rates are very cheap, considering.) Well, it's dedication on our part, for one, and also a policy of always buying or leasing, recycling in effect, old vehicles of any sort, as long as they still run and are structurally sound. There is no place in the world we cannot take you to -- we are even negotiating with the Russians to buy the MIR space station.

Special offer: You get to keep your camel, free, if you pay the transporation costs to get it back to your home.

Special Tours for the Millennium

  • Grozny, Chechnya ($3000)
  • Isle of Farnish ($1500)
  • South Georgia Island ($3500)
  • Salt Lake City (post Olympics) ($400)
  • Chernobyl, Ukraine ($2000)
  • Eufaula, Alabama ($386.95)
  • The Marshmount Castle(s) Tour (write us)
  • Special: Jan 2001 -- El Salvador earthquake site ($1200)
  • Armageddon, prime seats ($25)
    (reserve now, time is running out) -- [special reduced price, since 1/1/1 didn't turn out to be the date after all, is now only $10 until 2/2/2, which is the revised date for this event, and when that date passes, you can send $5 to reserve for the year 3001]
    And coming soon: The Caves of Al Qaeda in Eastern Afghanistan


PO Box 666
Somersault, New Jersey 08001