The Convention of Wall (a Blenkinsop Constitution)
NOTE: This was originally modelled on the Dutch document (William of Orange? whoever
negotiated the departure of Spain from the Netherlands) -- it was too good not to imitate.
The Blenkinsop Security Council apparently felt the same way, so it became the basic
document for the "Convention of Wall," the recent treaty established by the BSC after a long
and tedious period of anarchy.
THE CONVENTION OF NORTHERN WALL
WHEREAS the recent hostilities involving the ▄BERALLESREICH CONFEDERATION
and the MEHICO-HISPANIC CONSPIRACY OF JESUS. the GOVERNMENT TERRITORIES of NORTH and SOUTH WALL, and the GRAND DUCHY OF BOSELLY AND SCHATZ, and allies of the same have been concluded; and for the prevention of future conflicts of such
nature, to the detriment of all concerned, as well as to put forth a UNITED FRONT to the rest of the WORLD; and in accord with the late agreement signed between
representatives of the above-mentioned nations and the BLENKINSOP SECURITY COUNCIL;
THEREFORE the following nations, having met during this month of October, A.C. 489, in
representative session extraordinary aboard the BSC ship-of-the-line Strine Beauty,
have decreed and concluded the following points and articles:
I. THE ▄BERALLESREICH GERMANO-NORDIC CONFEDERATION, including the
Protectorate of TROLLGARD; the MEHICO-HISPANIC FEDERATION OF THE KNIGHTS OF THE HOLY MEHICO-JESUS CONSPIRACY, and the island of VICUĐA; the GRAND
DUCHY OF BOSELLY AND SCHATZ, and the protectorate of TINY TIM (see the FIRST AMENDMENT); the INDEPENDENT
STATES OF THE EDSEL ISLANDS; the UNION OF XING-TO AND LUM'S TATO; NORTH WALL GOV'T TERRITORY, and the bailiwicks of NWGT(South) and HAGBOLD, and the
LESSER BARONY OF CLOTT; and SOUTH WALL GOV'T TERRITORY, with the bailiwicks of GREAT SHREW NATURE RESERVE, DON VALLEY UTOPIAN ZONE, MALLOWFAT SHIPPING CONCESSIONS, and FOSGOOD MANOR, CARRADOS COUNTY, THE GRAND
DUCHESSY OF MT LESBOS, and the protectorate of FROGHOLM: HEREBY AGREE TO
FORM AN ALLIANCE, CONFEDERATION, AND UNION AMONG THEMSELVES in order to
remain joined for all time as if they were only a single NATION, and they may not hereafter divide or permit their division or separation. This to be enforced as decreed by the
BLENKINSOP SECURITY COUNCIL.
II. The aforesaid provinces will meet in a convention of delegates (to be chosen at the
discretion of the individual provinces) in the city of HUTT no later than 31 December of this year in order to draw up a permanent CONSTITUTION for the governing of the Union
established in the First Article.
III. The Capital of the union will be the city of HUTT, conjointly with the city of WETWANG DRIFFIELD, which is to be rebuilt at the expense of the GERMANO-NORDIC CONFEDERATION, under the terms of the Treaty of Peace recently concluded.
IV. The Condition of the Constitutional Convention is that each province, state, individual city, member, and the inhabitants thereof shall retain their special and particular
privileges, franchises, rights, statutes, laudible and long-practiced customs and usages, and their traditional forms of government, so long as these are construed to apply internally only and not to the union as a whole. All differences and conflicts that now exist
or may develop between the aforesaid provinces, cities, or members of this union
concerning said special and particular privileges, franchises, rights, statutes, laudible and long-practiced customs and usages, and traditional forms of government shall be decided
by means of a special court of Arbitration to be established as described hereunder in the SECOND AMENDMENT.
V. The provinces of the union must pledge to assist each other against all foreign and
domestic lords, princes, lands, provinces, cities, or members thereof who by invasion, piracy, or rebellion seek to do them, as a group or individuallly, any harm or injustice or wage war upon them. To assure more effectively against such injury, a common Army, Navy, Police Force, etc. will be established as described in the THIRD AMENDMENT; and a system of taxation as in the FOURTH AMENDMENT.
VI. This Convention will be signed by all constituted authorities of the aforementioned nations and provinces, and the citizens thereof shall swear an oath of allegiance; failure to do so will be considered an act of Rebellion, with a capital penalty of outlawry and
confiscation attached thereto.
In witness of this document are affixed the signs, signatures, and seals of etc. etc.
AMENDMENT THE FIRST: THE EDICT OF PROSCRIPTION
Section A: For all his perverse and baneful acts during the recent hostilities and because he is a chief author and promoter of the troubles and prime disturber of the peace--in brief, the plague of Northern Wall--we do declare ______ to be a wicked traitor
and an enemy to ourselves and mankind. As such we have banned him for all time from
our provinces and we forbid and prevent all our subjects of whatever status, condition, or
quality from frequenting, living, discoursing, speaking, or communicating with him openly or secretly, or receiving or lodging him in their houses or providing him with food, drink, fuel, or other necessities of any kind under penalty of being outlawed and declared traitor.
Wishing to reward virtue and punish crime, we promise that if there be someone with such
goodwill and so strong a desire for public service that he can rid us of this plague, delivering him to us dead or alive, or even just killing him, we will give to him the sum of 25,000 gold pieces in land or cash at his choice. If he has committed any crime whatever, we
promise to pardon him. Furthermore, if he is not a nobleman we grant him nobility. And if
the principle agent uses other persons to assist him in the performance of his enterprise, we will reward them according to the services they render, pardoning them too for whatever crimes they may have committed and likewise granting nobility to them.
This amendment to be displayed publicly in all town, cities, and provinces of the Convention.
[What an invitation for vigilantes and bounty hunters! Actually, though, an offer of nobility
was no big deal, since anybody who wasn't a serf could call himself "Sir." -- G.S.]
(This is the wording to be used, with necessary variations, on the wanted posters for
Baron Martie, Lucius Fosgood, Reichmarschal Fensterdonck, and 23 other men condemned by the Convention delegates. Sections B-H provide details on the process of
outlawing criminals, defining treason and war crimes, rewarding captors of such outlaws, and establlishing a special "Traitor Squad"--later to become the Secret Police. Section I, the last, provides for the annexation of TINY TIM by BOSSELY & SCHATZ. This was a rather nasty section of this treaty.)
AMENDMENT THE SECOND: THE SUPREME COURT OF ARBITRATION
(Establishment of a Supreme Court for the Conventional Union (CU), as the Nation of North Wall is known as unofficially -- a side note: anything illegal or unconstitutional is now called "unconventional" which means outsiders should be careful when applying this word to unusual behavior such as transvestitism -- the latter is perfectly legal, the other could
result in real trouble for that person [A lot of stuff about membership, terms of office, etc.
is omitted from this document. However, the last comment is enlightening. -- G.S.] ....
An eighth member, Blackrobe, or Minister of Justice, does not sit on the bench but is the
chief enforcement officer of the court; he commands the "Traitor Squad" or secret police.
He is appointed for life.*
* Nothing is the Convention says who appoints him; the first Blackrobe was just there when the articles were drawn up on the Strine Beauty -- and he happens to be Bordello Mallowfat.)
AMENDMENT THE THIRD: CIVIL AND NATIONAL DEFENCE & POLICE
[This is rather boring, so it is being omitted. --G.S.]
AMENDMENT THE FOURTH: TAXATION
To provide for the expenses which shall be found necessary for defending the union it is
agreed that there will be introduced, raised, and leased to the highest bidder every three
months in all provinces for their common defense and administration various taxes upon
all kinds of wines, beers, spirits, corn, and grain, salt, gold, silver, woven cloth, wool, livestock, cultivated land, slaughtered beasts and fishes, goods sold or exchanged, goods weighed at public scales and all other goods which it shall be agreed hereafter to tax. The revenues of the various provinces and domains shall also be taxed for these ends,
after deduction of expenses upon them. These revenues shall be increased or decreased only by majority decision of the provinces meeting in assembly [The Parleyquot, as it came to be called --G.S.] and according to the needs of the situation, and shall be put
to use only for the common defense and for public works expenditures, including forts and
castles, public buildings, roads, harbors, bridges, and public charity such as hospitals,
beggaries, madhouses, and the meritorious dole; and they shall not be diverted to any
other use. [Ha! This was the notorious Fourth Amendment that in effect established the Mallowfat & Fagg conglomerate as the tax-collector and distributor of public funds for all of Northern Wall --G.S.]
AMENDMENT THE FIFTH: BILL OF RIGHTS
(Establishes freedom of religion and other freedoms implied in Article IV, with a listing of
particularly weird and eccentric practices already in effect in some provinces that are to be protected by law. Freedom of acquiring and retaining property is also guaranteed as far as the laws shall allow. The following are to be regulated, however: freedom of the
press, of assembly, of petition for regress of grievances, of franchise, and of certain legal rights such as mandatory legal advice, self-incrimination, cruel and unusual punishments, double jeopardy, public trial, and illegal searches and seizures--the last, however, is partially protected under the property clause (if you can prove ownership of that stash of
drugs, you cannot be prosecuted for illegal possession, although they can get you for not
paying the proper taxes).
The rights of citizenship are granted to anybody whatsoever who comes to live in Northern
Wall (population shortage after the war); there are no restrictions and deportation is illegal--however, undesirable characters can be outlawed as in Amendment One. The rights of duello, as long as the participants follow the formalities, are upheld, indeed encouraged as an alternative to law suits; public arenas are to be set up in every major town adjacent to the law courts for this purpose. Prisons are forbidden as inhumane. Criminal penalties are confined to three categories: blood money (fines or payments to victims), bondage (either as armed forces draftee or indentured labor), and public execution. The pursuit of happiness is guaranteed as long as it doesn't affect the
happiness of one's social superior; this, however, is not to be construed as condoning
"slavery, droit de seigneur, or theft." Finally, every man (or woman) has the right to
plead his case or grievance to the national assembly, and if turned down, to the Supreme Court of Arbitration--however, to lose a case in that court can result in a sentence of death.
AMENDMENT THE SIXTH: THE GOVERNMENT
[This establishes the Parleyquot, who's eligible, how to become a member, its structure, etc. etc. Pretty boring. -- G.S.]
AMENDMENT THE SEVENTH:
The ARTICLES and AMENDMENTS of the CONVENTION are to be construed as
permanent and irrevocable LAW, binding through ALL ETERNITY on the PROVINCES
of the UNION. The CONSTITUTION and the GOVERNMENT established thereby must
conform in every respect to the principles set down herein.
Herewith our signs, seals, and signatures. Etc. Etc. Etc.
[That through ALL ETERNITY phrase is certainly stirring, isn't it? Do you believe it?
I wouldn't move to Northern Wall based on that, even though they have no restrictions
on immigration. On the other hand, you can pretty much do whatever you want to
do in this country, however odd you might be, as long as you don't piss somebody
with power off to the extent that you can be declared "proscribed." --G.S.]